Chuck Norris Facts

Someone pointed me to the Chuck Norris Facts page. Good for a quick laugh if you’re familiar with who Chuck Norris is. Might want to look back further in time than Walker: Texas Ranger though – he was a badass before that show.

For your pleasure, here are the top 5 facts:

  1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
  2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
  5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck himself thinks a few of these are funny.

2 thoughts on “Chuck Norris Facts”

  1. The geek in me loves #6: Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

    Ooh, and #11: There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

    Hee hee.

    Funny thing is, these could apply equally to Steven Segal, Jean Claude Van Damme, etc.

  2. You are plain wrong Dale. You can only say these things about some people. When was the last time you heard of ANYONE other than Chuck kicking someone through the windshield of a car? Man, I remember that moment so well – he was wearing ski boots and .. he jumped .. and oh man!

    Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

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