Boy people patent some wacky things!
For example, any guy who stayed in a college dorm knows what a “Blue Angel” is – young men like to light their intestinal gas on fire and marvel at their innate ability to produce fire. It’s Neanderthalic, its moronic, its free entertainment. Dorm food doesn’t help matters.
Oh sure there are horror stories you hear about how the flame travels up inside and burns a guy, or the explosion is so violent that, well, you get the idea. So two men thought it would be a good idea to patent an idea behind what could possibly be the weirdest “rocket” I’ve ever heard of:
A recreational activity practiced by some individuals is ignition of one’s own flatus. This is performed by using a lit match or candle, or a cigarette lighter. So widespread is this activity that there are web sites on the Internet devoted exclusively to explaining proper lighting techniques.
OK, I’ll take your word on that good sirs.
A major drawback of this popular practice is that it usually involves the hazardous coupling of fire, combustible gases and inebriated participants. Reports of serious burns to body parts are not uncommon, this being especially true when the
participants remove their clothing.
Indeed, you can’t argue with that reasoning. So these two fellows offer up a novel invention to help those poor inebriated firebugs:
A toy gas-fired missile and launcher assembly whose missile is composed of a soft head and a tail extending therefrom formed by a piston. … To operate the assembly, the operator places the inlet tube with its valve open adjacent his anal region from which a colonic gas is discharged. The piston is then withdrawn to a degree producing a negative pressure to inhale the gas into the combustion chamber to intermix with the air therein to create a combustible mixture. The ignitor is then activated to explode the mixture in the chamber and fire the missile into space.
Translation: you launch a rocket by releasing and lighting your “flatus” in this contraption. Yup – someone paid to patent this. I honestly see a market for it too – don’t you?
